The Cathartic Ecstasy of ‘Gay Guy Music Video Night’

“Heaven is a place on Earth,” Belinda Carlisle famously sang in 1987. And she’s right: Heaven does exist on this planet—but it’s not a gorgeous beach, a scenic mountain top, or the crispiest Diet Coke known to man. Heaven is actually wherever Gay Guy Music Video Night is happening.

For the unfamiliar, Gay Guy Music Video Night describes the ritual of queer friends “pregaming” a night out by watching pop videos at someone’s place. This idea isn’t new, really. Music videos have been around since the ’60s, and gays have been watching them religiously for as long as Madonna’s made them. But pop fans are now actively using the phrase “Gay Guy Music Video Night” on social media. When Variety reported in February that YouTube viewing on TV is higher than mobile or desktop in the US, someone joked, “Gay Guy Music Video Night’s impact.” There’s even merch for the activity.

Rich, 49, remembers hosting his first Gay Guy Music Video Night over 25 years ago. There were no sound bars or smart TVs back then, just a cable box and several worn-out DVDs. Two specifically come to Rich’s mind: “We basically just watched Madonna and Cher when [her album] Believe came out,” he says. “It wasn’t the cornucopia of gay divas there are now.”

Fast-forward to 2025, and Gay Guy Music Video Night looks way different. The Internet now supplies a potentially endless stream of pop serotonin—and thousands of reasons to keep delaying your Uber. “Nowadays, you’ll go down a VEVO rabbit hole and end up spending the whole night watching videos,” says Rich.

Tyler, 34, would actually prefer that. He’s been partying in New York City since his early 20s and holds firm that Gay Guy Music Video Nights are infinitely more fun than bars. “They’re one of the few times I feel completely free and expressive in a way that is sometimes difficult to achieve in public,” he says, doubling down that he’d “absolutely” rather be on his couch watching Ariana Grande’s “Into You” video than the club: “Free drinks, no bathroom line, and I can actually hear my friends speaking.”

But what videos are we watching? My New York-based Gay Guy Music Video Nights typically kick off around 8 p.m. with the intent of leaving for bars by 10—though it usually winds up being 11:15 because we’ve started rewatching The Eras Tour. By then, we’ve traversed the entirety of the Internet, making pit stops at Fifth Harmony’s “Work From Home” video, Christina Aguilera and Sabrina Carpenter singing “What a Girl Wants,”, and a Real Housewives supercut. Yes, the Gay Guy Music Video Night lineup includes more than just music videos gay guys like. It’s a three-hour multimedia journey to every corner of pop culture that queer people specifically find entertaining or funny.